Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Welp...herpes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
