we made out on top of his cat.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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