Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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