Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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