As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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