At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
