I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
