You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
