I bet he comes in French.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
