Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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