no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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