when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
