I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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