I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
