I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
