He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
