Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
