I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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