I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
