you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
