You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
