I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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