i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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