I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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