I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
