Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
