I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He better not be in your backpack
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
