david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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