He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
is it fun? or sober?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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