ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
