don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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