everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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