I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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