ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
