I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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