Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
