I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
