OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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