I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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