Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
