I have demons in me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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