I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize