I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
