it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
