I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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