dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
