Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just cropdusted the office
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
