Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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