If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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