When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
