Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i believe in u and ur pee
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
