I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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