i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
