Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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